Who me???

Totally innocent...
With Babe you cannot leave any tissues out in sight...
Once when they were just little fellows I left two one dollar bills on the sofa and came in
and found four pieces so fortuntately I had scotch tape and yes they were still spendable

Home away from Home

This is our Home away from Home and after this winter we are more than ready to get rolling again...

Labor Day 2009

Labor Day 2009
one day at a timeI think sometimes I post about the silly things she does and everyone thinks I am stressed out but sometimes I think it is just too funny like when she thinks she attended a prayer meeting at a school in another town...
I just live a busy life right nowI am trying to visit her twice a week and sometimes that is tough..as I also have my life also a family friend visited her yesterday and Mom was suprised that her Mom has passed (we both had attended the funeral about 8 years ago)...
Mom seems to not feel well and says she has stomach pains and when we tell the dr he does not do any tests he just says to make sure that her meds are taken at night...
However I guess it is best because I cannot take off constantly for her drs appts
All my Sick leave time is being spent on her She is going to the Drs Monthly beause of new meds plus the Orthopedic dr
However the good news is that she did get a shower Wednesday...and was in a NEW outfit...She tells me she wet the bed and they did not change her sheets however when I check them there are no stains nor smell...Like I said one day at a timebetween visits with Mom I am also still working, trying to organize my house (one corner at a time), going on a womans retreat with a friend next week-end, and just have tooooo much to do!!!
So is the Life of a caregiver

Shopping with Mom

Shopping With Mom
By Nita Bourland
12-12-2009

It must’ve all started
In the penny candy store
I would look up at you
and kindly hollar "MORE!"

Then as we grew it was T G & Y
and Hobby Lobby of course,
We’d tote in lots of bargains
and tell Dad..."It could’ve been worse!"

We’d shop for Easter dresses
Trying on clothes together
You were my shopping buddy
In all kinds of weather.

Then every other Thursday
Off to the grocery store we’ld go
Taking tons of coupons
Reaching bargains high and low.

But I’ll never forget
Our last shopping trip
It was for Christmas presents
and I Had your shopping list.

As I wheeled your chair around
Many smiles I would see,
And a lovely lady said...
"Makes me wish my Mom were with Me!!"

Even though I’ll now shop alone,
I’ll always have you near
As I hear you’re voice tell me..."better buy it now,"
"It may not be on sale next year!!"

My Elderly Parents

My Elderly Parents
by Nita Bourland
I walked along with my Dad
and Looked into his withered eyes,
As I help him walk I begin to think
Just how fast time flies...

It was just yesterday in the park
We were eating tamales and Playing ball,
Instead of me helping him up
After each and every fall.

And My Mom who now forgets
What I have said and why,
Used to be my daily guide
Soothing my every cry.

We shared Chocolate Easter Eggs
As we shopped each and every store,
Now it seems her walk is unsteady
Across the Kitchen floor.

The computer to them seems useless,
As my heart breaks for them each night
They'll never know the friends I've found
And the encouragement from this site.

I want to help them all I can
Because if the truth be known,
I will someday be like them
Aged, withered and worn...

Nita is a member of the New Caregiver support group
This was written in 2003

More on Mothers Day 2009

Last year I received a card from a girl who had just lost her Mom and I replied to her..

Because you have lost your Mom I felt you needed an extra special Card for Mothers Day
You were a very special daughter to her
This Mothers Day I have found that I never quit learning from my Mom
I listen to what she says even when I know she is wrong because of the respect I have for her.
I am also learning to Follow her Moms example...she may have Good examples and she may have bad examples but I am leaning from both, the Good and the bad because we learn from Our Mothers mistakes.
The day has come when I DO know more than your Mother but I have learned not to let her know that. As I Help her to walk I have learned to cherish those walks (no matter how slow she becomes), I have learned to Think for My Mom and it is special because I realize that she is placing all her trust in me because she brought you up to be Trustworthy
I am writing this not just for YOU but also for ME as well because I am dealing with an elderly Mom and like it or Not we will all be there.
I am pleased to be you Friend, and your adopted Mom and if you need anything I am here for you.
I have also learned that every woman has a Mothers Heart and has a tender and caring nature.
Love you


Your Friend from Oklahoma

Moms BD 2010

Moms BD was April 12, 1922 so what should I do this year for her BD???
Should I sit at home and be sad and wish she were here? or should I just get out the stuff she has made and yearn for her. Or should I do something creative and uplifting?
Well the thought just occured to me today...Seems Mom had a twin...yes same date, same year. So why not cross-stitch something for her twin?? Do it in Moms memory...
I can do that maybe put the date on it and send it to her in the mail...Yes I can do that. something uplifting for both her and me...I am sure it will be a good Birthday and Mom will be well pleased...

Easter 2010

OK I think I am just missing family...I think what are we going to do for Easter...We used to have Mom and Dad over for a big Ham dinner...Easter was along time ago a BIG family event...with the children having Easter egg hunts and going to church together on Sunday and a Ham dinner afterwards...then the kids grew up, family moved and soon it became my husband and I and Mom and Dad...then Dad passed and now Mom and so that only leaves the two of us...the neighbors across the street join us ocassionally but are trying to sell their house and move to Houston,TX then what??
I guess you just have to make memories for yourself..a camping trip and meeting God our under the stars, waking up to an Easter Sunrise or going out to dinner just the two of us or inviting a lonely couple to join us or inviting a single person you just have to make the most of what comes out of life and not try to understand or yearn for something different.
I may miss Mom on Easter but I wll rejoice in Gods presence.

Moms BD and Easter 2009

My Moms BD is April 12 (or should I say was...as I am only writting memories) anyways last year her BD fell on Easter...
Well I took her to church as usual and after church we had invited the neighbor across the street to come over for a ham dinner..they have a little 3 yr old daughter...
I think at one point Mom and the little girl got into an argument as we heard the little girl say "NO..My mom taught me not to talk like that.." anyways we all sat down to eat and were sharing a really good meal together and out of the blue Mom said "You know I don't remember when the last time Easter fell on a Sunday!!" we were all trying not to break down in laughter over the comment by her...
Life is good and these are good memories.

The Dental Appt

Mom and I went to the dentist together for years and years..
She had gone to this dental office back when we were children and her original dentist retired
and the other one took over and I started going there and as Mom became elderly we just always went together.
Often we would stop and get lunh on the way home. It was a Mother/daughter thing
Well once a year or so back we had gone to the dentist.
He found a cavity and usually when that happened he would just work on it right there to save having to bring her back in.
Well afterwards we went out to eat and she was like a two year old.
Why does my mouth feel funny? Will it stay this way? How long does this last? are you sure this is normal? I have a sore also is that Normal? Maybe if I put campho Phenique on it will that help?
I will never forget that appt it was so funny because she did not remember ever having her mouth numb like that before..and I will never forget the 20 questions she asked afterwards.

Valentines Day 2006

It was my stitch Night so we celebrated on Monday (after our Therapy appt together) we ate Italian food and just sat and talked (something we needed to do and what the therapist recommended)
I also sent Valentine cards to daddy, Mom and my elderly aunt and I bought two for hubby One from me (thanking him for all he has put up with in my family) and One from the doggers...
I also bought him some chocolate Lips...
He gave me the biggest, nicest card that really fits our situtation I have to share the saying with you it says
"Sometimes when it's really crazy around the house and you're doing what you're doing and I'm doing what I'm doing and we just happen to catch each other's eyes and for a second.....
The world fades away and YOU smile a little smile just for me...
Sometimes you say you love me most and when you don't say anything at all...
Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day

I think of Valentines days in the past...
Once when I was a teenager we had a Valentine Banquet and I had been picked as Royalty...
My first big Moment...even got escourted and what do you think happened...My beau Darryl escourted me into the Banquet and pulled my chair out for me...I sat down and he helped scoot the chair back and of all things it landed on his FOOT!!!
So much for my big Moment on Valentines Day...
Now to Valentines Day 2010...
Hubby got me a card...No flowers, no candy only a card...Am I upset...Why no because any form of love is a treasure that we will always remember...Just as I remember my BIG Moment in History so I will remember how our love flourishes each and every year...We won't remember the cards, or the candy or the flowers but the love we will continously remember...

My parents LOVE for each other lasted for 58 years...I can remember the good times they had at Golden Corral (their favorite restaurant because my dad was a big eater) and even the nursing home could not stop the love and devotion they had for each other...

So I want for our Love that no matter what trials we have been though or trials we have to come that our love and devotion will last Forever!!

If you have no spouse or boy/girl friend to celebrate Valentines day with then concentrate this day on the one you LOVE whether it be a son or daughter or aunt or uncle...Give of your Love and devotion to someone that needs it today..

Ginger Bread Ornaments

Ginger Bread Ornaments stitched on small Canvas

Tea Cart with Tea pot Coasters

Plastic Canvas Tea Cart that I made for one of My secret Sisters

complete with Teapot coasters

Mom getting on Alzheimers meds

Jan 17,2009
I took Mom to the Doctor yesterday and he started her on Aerosept...So I can only take it one day at a time...I think "OH NO!!! Not again!!" As I had my Dad with Parkinsons But then God knows just when it was time to call Dad home as Mom is needing my help now..The doctor also said the Medication will help some of her Anger issues..The Good news is that she is still doing OK in the facility where she is at..So just continuing to pray that she will NOT have to end up in a Nursing Home like Dad. (yes God did answer that Prayer)

I have been with Mom just about every evening because she gets confused on her evening Meds...right now since she is on an Antibiotic she needs to take them twice a day... I have them in 7-Day Pill planners and she still gets confused...I am trying very hard to keep her as Independent as possible (without the aide of a Nursing Home) Seems like it is so frustrating and I get soooo mad but I look at how inocent she is and I cannot be mad at her... I have a Drs appt for her Feb 05, and Feb 13 and again in March Geez and I wonder when I get to use SICK Leave for myself.... My only thing is I know one of these days after Mom is gone and it will just be Me and Hubby there will be NO one to help us...(heck how do you expect nieces and nephnews to help when I never even see or hear them now) Then I will Miss being able to take care of someone..
As a caregiver you get tired but enjoy the work you do also

Typical day in my past life Nov 10, 2008

Nov 10, 2008
Saturday did Launry and weighed in at WW,(been on Maintenance for 5 yrs now),picked up Mom and took her to the bank to get dads name off her account and add mine as a Joint so it will make life easier for me to do her transactions, Then took her to the grocery store then we discovered a soup and Salad place and ate Lunch..I got through around 0300 to I stopped by Sonic for drinks and got home barely in time to attend an Adoption party for the neighbors behind us...Her hubby adopted her 11 yr old special needs girl..they had tons of food and lots of people..Then on Sunday the aide picked up Mom but I am trying to save spending so much money as she is living on assets and a partial of dads retirement so I told the aide if they were running late to stop Mom by the house so she did and Mom ate with us then I took her back and sonic was again just right close byThen I had to walk the dogs as one was sitting by the front door...poor thing..and now I am here at working thinking of my list for tomorrow since I will be off work...Plans are to take Mom Christmas shopping so I will not have to get her out in the crowds...Did have a little bit of craft time last night though...

That was a typical day in my life as a caregiver...I still don't know how I did it all and If I had it to do over again would DEFINATELY do it...

Veterans Day 2008

Veterans Day 2008
Village On the Park
Veterans Day was yesterday and another busy dayI had a Drs apt first thing
(Like 07:00AM but was out early) then I went over to Moms I wanted to take her Christmas shopping so I wouldn't have to take her out in the Christmas rush
Then a Miracle happened...for Mom it is getting harder and harder for her to walk a long ways so I took her to Wal-Mart and they have them wheel chairs you can push...and I asked her if that was OK and she said Yes so I put her in one and pushed her through Wal-Mart
I didn't think she would ever want to use one...It was easier on her and me both..Now I can take her more places...
After telling one of her friends the lady said "Well My daughter doesn't ask she just tells me" So when later on Mom was saying she gets confused with all the activities and when they are having things and it was alot better at the house...I told her "Well I am in charge and you are better here and alot safer" She said OK she was not mad or nothing cause she doesn't get upset like she used to at the house..
Anyways after we got through we ate a little lunch and they had a Veterans Day program so I attended that they had about 30 residents who were honored as Veterans and they had the Honor Guard present the flag..and a wonderful speaker..After that they all had patriotic Sundaes and I helped pass them out..
Then I went home and rested a bit and then hubby took me over to Moms old house where the wheelchair was in storage heck I have a feeling we will be using that alot..and on the way home I honored my husband who is a Vet by eating at Golden Corral..I am having a problem with one of my teeth and have a dental appt Monday so hopefully if I eat soft foods I can wait until then.. It was a very fulfilling day and Mom already bought us a Christmas present a throw rug for our living room and dinning room area as we use towels when the dogs come in and have wet paws..
Wonderful Veterans Day Memories

The best day of my life

I have wondered recently which day was the best day of my life...
Perhaps it was when I got my Drivers Licence or when I graduated from High School, Or when I got married on my Wedding Day...

Maybe it was when I got that big promotion or a raise or found a job...

Needless to say there have been many Good days...but has one really been better than the other??
I just cannot think of any certain day that has been tremendously better so much as I call it the best day of my life...I hate to admit it but even on my wedding day I had a tendency to be nervous and get upset to the point of tears and my sister has to sooth me...

Of course if it were my husband writting this his best day would be the day I said "yes" to him getting that Goldwing...He was like a little boy again...He could not sleep all night and as soon as we walked into the Motorcycle shop you could see his head upraised checking to see if the bike were still there...
Life is full of many good times and recently I have heard the expression..."Every day is a GOOD day...some are just better than others!!!" so with all that said I would have to say Every day is my BEST day...after all TODAY is the FIRST day of the REST of MY life!!

Daily Gratitude and scripture verse

Wednesday Feb 10
1-Bills because I know I have money to pay them
2-Dr bills because I know I am becoming Healthy
3- My laptop because it connects me to the world
4- Cold Weather because I know Spring is right around the corner
5- Family who comfort me when I am sad or cold

John 3:16
For God so loved the World that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever should
believe on his shall have everlasting Life.

Tuesday Feb 09
1-my Supervisor
2-a good car to drive
3-Traffic so I have someone to pray for
4-Lifes problems so that I won't get too adjust to earth to where I am not looking
forward to Heaven
5-My WONDERFUL husband

1John 1:10
If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and the truth is not in us.

Monday Feb 08
1-I still have a job in this tough economy
2-Each day is a New day
3- For the lovely snow we had this morning
4- For girlfriends to laugh with
5- For the warmth of a nice house

Luke 6:35
But love your enemies, and do good and lend, hoping for nothing again;
and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be children of the Highest:
for he is kind to the unthankful and to the evil

After the Groomers

This is a picture of Babe reading!!! LOL We have remarkable kids!!



This is a picture of Peanut after he went to the groomers....

Peanut like to pose!!!

Church

Attended church today...
always leave feeling blessed...
A nice lady told me and my husband how we inspired everyone in the choir because we hold hands and act like newlyweds...
That was something special and made me want to compliment someone else so after church I told a girl I don't know that I really liked her hair...It was natural curly like mine...

I have found that if someone compliments you and it makes you feel good then pass along the goodness...and lets just keep it going...

In fact if I encounter someone that does not compliment me but yet someone that criticizes me...what makes me feel better is to find something about them that I like and compliment them...am thinking of someone that I need to find something good about them and let them know...Love you enemies and be good to everyone!!! Lets compliment all we meet!!

I am a loser

Yes I am a loser...
I Started Weight Watchers 12/18/2002 and weighed in at 178
I reached goal weight about a year later in Dec 2003
I did my Monthly Weigh in today Since I am at Lifetime and have never gone
over goal weight (yes a couple times I have been close and had to take off the underware
and hold my breath as I was weighing)
Before I joined Weight Watchers I had lost 25 lbs so
All together I have lost a total of 75 lbs and proud to say I have maintained for well over
6 years...
Yes I am a loser and quite proud of it...
I weighed in today at 126

Christmas Reineer

This is a Christmas reindeer I got out of the 2009 Just Cross-Stitch Ornament edition and I added a Plastic Canvas reindeer frame onto it (after searching the Internet for one)...I had to do a few adjustments onto the frame but it turned out pretty good...

Peanut in the SNOW

We just keep getting SNOW and SNOW this year and this is Peanut...he is out in the snow..seems every time we would set him out in the snow he came back with snow balls all over him...He looked so funny we just laughed and laughed then I had to put him in the sink and run water over his little paws to get the snow balls out!!

Babe

This is Babe...is a BIG Chihuahua and is the quiet one...He is sly...Somtimes he tends to blend into everything...Babe likes to sleep in (just like Mike)

My Moms Funeral Dec 12, 2009

I guess what I have learned from all this is that you do not grieve for any two alike
With Dad seeing him in the nursinghome I grieved ahead of time...with Mom grief started the day of the Funeral...

The entire week was just so full of things to do...going back and forth to the funeral home I was OK during the week just could NOT sleep...I guess because I was in charge with NO help (except for Loretta...we got together and picked out Moms funeral dress) So I knew I could not let go..

Then the morning of the funeral I picked up my Aunt Goldie (Moms Sister) and as soon as I got home I took a bath and then felt sooo sick and nausiated and nervous...
Pam the neighbor across the street came over to do my hair...She is a nurse and helped me help Mom when Mom had grief over Dads passing...She talked to me and calmed me down and we took it one step at a time...Without her I would have never made the funeral...
during the funeral I shed tears of sadness...I missed her so much and never would be able to go shopping again with her..
After the burial my sisters, BIL, niece and son all met at a local Mexican Restaurant for dinner then we came over and exchanged Christmas...
It was the next week that I really faced My grief and sadness
We moved Moms things from her apt on Saturday and on Sat evening I saw a neighbor friend of mine I told her and we cried together in freezing weather outside...That's what girlfriends are for..then I tried to go through her Jewelry and ended up in tears (may look again 5 yrs from now)
The next day was Sunday...we went to SS and Church...I thought I was OK...until I felt a little sad so decided to go shopping...In the middle of Kohls I was grief stricken...I called a friend of mine who assured me that I was Normal..."your Mom just passed of course you feel sad...You go to your car and have a good cry then continue your shopping and realize it won't be the last time"
So I did..
Then on Mon I decided NOT to go to work...I needed another day, maybe another week, maybe another year...Then I looked at myself and said "My grief will not turn into depression and I will go on with my life" I quickly dressed and got up and out and it was the best thing to do!!
I have many friends at work (Troopers and co-workers) who all gave me prayers and encouragement...
Since then yes I have had my bouts of sadness...as she was, is and always will be my Mom but with each sad Day I know there is light at the end of the tunnel and I don't have to be sad forever!!

My Dads Funeral Oct 08, 2008

God gave me the peace to deal with everything..
I am so glad I had prearranged the funeral made everything so much easier but there were still decisions to make at the funeral home and the cemetary...
My sister didn't help with any of it so I just took Mom along and she told them that I handled everything so I did..
It turned out beautiful and we had beautiful weather..
I know he is better off and he was just tired..
I told Mom he is now RUNNING and JUMPING (something he has not had the privilage of doing for years)
I never understood what people meant when they said I would never regret what I have done for them until after he passed and it is true I had no regrets...I have already faced the sadness and guilt when I had to place him in the nursing home...
It was sad to see him go but good that it was quick and peaceful..
I am glad I did not have to decide on the feeding tube or that he did not develop Phenomia (something many Parkinsons patients do)
Poor Mom is just lost so I took her back to her Apartment yesterday and EVERYONE just hugged her and were there for her..I think being there now is the best thing..
Before I took her back I took her to buy new pants and get a hair cut (something I didn't even think of before the funeral)
I have noticed Mom also declining little by little so you are right now I must concentrate on her
Mom is at the stage now that dad was a few years ago...always saying or doing something out of character and funny..
She told me "If I knew I was going to a funeral I would have worn different shoes" and when we were waiting for the Limo to pick us up she said she was waiting for the Undertaker to come and get her..
I also called Dads retirement and Social Security yesterday and it was WAY too easy (after dealing with DHS and Medicaid this past year) I was glad...Mom will now get 55% of his retirement and His Social Security instead of hers as she was drawing off of his..
I am trying to get the "Thank You" cards done but seem to be at a loss so thought I would just give it a day or so...
I have to get my living room back in order as I am definately NOT a hostess and had to become one overnight..
I had to move my NEST...(something my Mom has taught me that every woman has her nest next to her chair)
Yes I was close to both Mom and Dad as they are both responsible for ME!!

Moving from her house into Independent LIving

The Move From the House of over 50 years into Village on the Park (Independent Living Center)
1-Getting her Off the bed
Went into the house and she was UPSET because she did not have her favorite Knife for breakfast..I told her it was NOT that big a deal and not having a certain knife was not the end of the world but such a trivial matter...She was sitting there cutting up cardboard sorting through papers...She said she needed to go through things...We told her we needed to move the bed and finally talked her into going into the living room and sitting on the couch to sort through her papers
2-The Keys
She said I could not have the shed keys because I might lose them so I had to sneak the keys out of her Purse and had her aide distract her with a coat while I snuck her household keys from the living room...We were all in on the plan and she never had a clue
3-Her stuff
She had half a Bed full of stuff that went when she did and we needed to load it but she did not want it loaded because it was Not to go until she did. We finally convinced her that we would place it in the trunk of the car and the car would NOT leave until she did
4-Grandmas Thimble
She has a little Jewelry Box with her Grandmas Thimble in it...I had to protect that little box and keep it with me at all times until she was finally moved in for good then I took it back to her
5-The car ride
We got halfway there when she asked me if I got her pills from off the table...What pills
The ones she had to take every morning...I told her I did not know they were on the table and she said I should have reminded her I told her I would go back later and get them and she said she would go with me I told her she did not have to go with me to get them and she said I might forget...I finally convinced her I would NOT forget
6-The dinner
They gave us coupons for a free lunch with her...She asked James a friend of ours where he was from and he said Washington DC and she asked him if he knew President Buch
7-The Waitress
When the waitress came to clear the dishes she said she was not finished yet that we would not let her quit talking so she could eat
8-Meeting People
at this point she had no problems began talking to people as soon as she got in there and telling them her life story I knew then that she will be fine there

Afffair of the Heart

I just have to tell a story that Happened in Oct
We have an annual craft event here called "An Affair of the Heart"
Mom and I used to attend every year..until it got too hard for her to walk as it
includes 6 buildings...
Well this past Oct (2009) I attended with a co-worker and I actually got free tickets
for test driving a car...LOL
So my co-worker took her Mom (whom I attended High School with)

Anyways walking around and see her and her Mom buying for each other and having so
much fun reminded me of my Mom and the fun we used to have..
So after shopping there ALL day I was on my way home and I just had an urge to take Mom out
to dinner...So I called hubby and asked him if that was OK...Sure (hubby was really nice to let me spend time with Mom)
So I called the Assisted Living facility and told them my plans and to have Mom ready..
then I stopped by the house to freshen up...
When I arrived Mom was sitting there all grins...
It just thrilled her so much to spend a dinner out with her daughter...
We ate at a restaurant called Pioneer Pies and we shared a meal as Mom did not eat like she used to..
She giggled at all the little children in the restaurant..
Afterwards we stopped by the house to pick up her grand-dogs..
She always loved seeing her grand-dogs

I then took her back and we spent a little bit of time together before her bed time...

Little did I know then that she would only be here a few Months more..
I recently received an e-mail telling about a son that had a dinner date with his Mom...
I would recommend this to all who have elderly Parents...
Take them out to dinner, Pamper them, love them and tell them how special they are
I am sure glad I did...I feel like it was God telling me to do that and it is important to
follow the leading of what God wants you to do..

Latest Finish

Here is my latest finish...It is called "Happy Camper" and I am sure ready for Summer

Mothers Day 2009

Mothers Day last year, Mother and I attended a Mother/Daughter luncheon. First I went early to help Mom get dressed we both wore dresses I tried to fix up her hair and I put a little bit of Make-up on her. The first thing they did was take Individual Pictures of the Mothers and daughters...If they did not have a daughter or their daughter was not available they brought daughter-in-law, or grand-daughter etc. Then we went in where they had assigned seating...We had a very elegant Lunchtuna salad with croisants, potato salad, cranberry Muffin, fruit with whipped cream and cheese cake with cherry topping and tea or coffeethen for the program they had one of the workers daughters sing a very lovely and touching song, the activities director also read a poem about mothers and what a Mother is etc. In it she mentioned that it was for all the Mothers who never had children of their own but Mothered all the others children, then she told about her Mother (to whom she lost 2 yrs ago) It was very touching and then she had volunteers from the daughters tell about their mothers...I was able to tell my Mom how much she meant to me...they then sang again and had door prizes by the time it was all over with there was not a dry eye in the room...It was very special and I am so glad I went with my Mom..

I told my Mom how she helped me when I was a child and now it was my turn to help her, to help her dress, to help her walk, to be there for her..Later on Mom commented on how much that meant to her as at her age they often feel like they are a burden...I am now so glad I was able to tell her how much she has meant to me.