We love our church...it is small
But at times I find it difficult to fit into a
Church where people have known each other for years but have only known us for a little while...
I see my poor cousin & all she is going through with her husband but there are church people there & relatives there, her daughter, step-daughter, step-son etc
When I cared for my parents I was by myself...my Mom passed with me only...no family...no church..only Me & wait God...
Yep I do get jealous as no one there knows where we have been, but they know each other...so life goes on...the times I remember God was not there He really was...
How I long for a Large family & alot of church friends...but you can't have everything now can you???
How I remember pastors in the past that loved us & had a relationship with us...but I need to realize it won't be that way again!!!
Life goes on & now I need to learn how to deal with a Jealous heart!!!
I think it all stems from our inabilities to have children & a big family!!!
If we had children life would be different, there would be Kids they grew up with, churches they grew up in, schools, graduations, weddings etc
Instead the last 10 years have been Nursing Homes, independent living centers, Assisted living centers, hospice, hospitals & fitting in work also!!!
Only God knows WHY!!