Sunday, May 23, 2010

Do we live like God Doesn't exist??

This was the SS lesson for today...kinda makes you think doesn't it...
the essence of the lesson was
Do we believe in God....
#1 But don't know Him
#2 But are ashamed of our past
#3 But won't forgive (Mark 11:25-26)
#4 But think He doesn't love us
#5 But think He is not fair
#6 But don't think you can change yourself
#7 But we worry all the time (Matt 6:25-34)
#8 But not in prayer

I think the ones that spoke to me the most were #4 But think He doesn't love us and
#5 But think He is not fair and #7 But worry all the time
first off I will start with the stress involved when I was helping the parents...there were
times I screamed out because I did not understand just why God was doing this to me???
Why was he having me take care of parents and deal with their finances, their medical,
and DHS all at the same time???
I did not think God was fair to me and I worried not only about me but about the parents and
their finances...
Well as time went on and after the parents went on I now understand why we allowed them to live a long life...It was not for their sake but for mine...because they fulfilled my life...all our Holidays were spent with them..all our time was spent with them...all our activities were with them...and now that they are gone there is a is only my husband and I and I truely miss having family...I get jealous of those that have family...
So we now come to my life I feel any more loved??? Do I feel God is anymore fair??? I would say no not really because I do not understand why He did not allow us to have children and I don't think it is fair and at times I feel He didn't love us enough to allow us to raise children...Do I worry less?? No because I worry about our elderly will we survive?
We won't have children to help and I worry about where we will end up..
I wonder if it is ordinary Like it says in Proverbs that the Barren Womb is never satisified or if
I can ever reach satisifaction in my life??
Sometimes I go to church and even seeing families makes me sad because I wonder why we don't have one???
I will strive for Happiness reguardless and Hope that God does love me and there is a reason why!!

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