Why I want to be a Mother

I know I will never be a Mother but thought I would explain why it bothers me so much

You see I know how special Mothers are...
There is a special bond between Mothers and Daughters
I had that...I had that with my Mom I LOVED shopping with her and I LOVED helping
her and I was proud
Just last year I took her shopping and I was so proud

Well there is also a Special bond with Mothers...they are all special and I see the bond they
have...I feel left out of that bond...I don't know why God did not let me have that bond but
It does hurt me to not have that bond

So for all you Mothers out there...YOU are special...and that is why I do not feel special...
perhaps I am in a way but not the way I want to celebrate my womanhood...

I am sad

I am sad today
Why is it when women get together they seem to talk about how they had their kids
Labor and delivery...
Conversations I will NEVER be able to participate in...
Sometimes I just HATE my life and I wish I could just be a hermit because women don't
care how I feel...

They keep on and on with the conversation not realizing there are people in the room that do not have children...then I go to church thinking it will be better and it is NOT...we are the only couple in the church that wanted children but never have them...the preacher preaches about
his family and in SS they say "Mothers and Grandmothers are special"

We are not special we are no bodies...we are just here trying to find our own activities to fill our lives...we don't have the ball games to attent like parents do, we don't have school programs like parents do...we don't have the baby showers, the graduations etc

I feel so ALONE!!!