My Job

My job is very family oriented
When My Dad passed they did the escourt
when my Mom passedthey did the escourt and helped with Paul Barriers

When I want to cry there is always someone to talk to
I had a talk with my supervisor today
She said that I not only have suffered losses in my life but I have had
to completely change my lifestyle...caring for my Dad, then for my Mom (which lasted about
8-10 yrs)

then my neighbors moving and having to change Holiday plans...
heck no wonder I am depressed...
She assured me I was a Normal human being and told me
If I ever want just a day off for "ME" just to take it...
Now tell me how many jobs will tell you that??

I was talking to another co-worker earlier and I told her that when I had Mom and Dad caring for them both I cried, then I had only Mom and I cried, now I have neither one and I am still crying...LOL

You have to make your own happiness out of life and I will get through this year, and next year and many years to come...
I will face other days where I am depressed but I also have a world full of support...

One of my Daily Gratitudes is for my job and my co-workers

Alone

Our lesson last Sunday was titled alone...
It was about Jesus feeling alone and how some people do not cope well with being alone...

I was also volunteered as what they called the "Sunshine Lady" for our class...
Ever since then I have been soooo depressed...

I just want to sit and cry...
It started back in Dec when Mom passed, then the dr found an aneurysm in my hubby and he just recently had surgery, then my job was going to furlough four days a month, and what got me over the edgeis last Friday our neighbors (the ones we celebrate all the Holidays with) are moving to Houston,Tx...so we are ALONE!!!
No family no one to celebrate Holidays with except ourselves...
I told hubby I was going through a midlife crisis and he said "I thought you already went through that" and I said "No it lasts until I am 80"

We are the 1% of the population that never was able to have children...so everywhere I go it is about family and children...in Sunday School and church is on parenthood and children, my friends talk about their children and grandchildren...
Sometimes I want to crawl in a hole and hide...I want to understand why God never allowed us to have children after we tried so hard...I want to not feel sooo alone at times..

But I must realize this first year after the parents is the toughest. It is the adjustment period. Learning to live without them, Learning to live with just us and learning to live life...

The daily devotion at work yesterday was
"Lord...Lead us in the direction you want us to walk rather in the direction we want to walk"
Yep that was meant for me...
It will get better...I MUST believe that...I must trust in God to help in every situation and I must realize that I am not alone...there are alot of other out there that do not have family or children also. (I just haven't met them yet...LOL)
I will hang in there and pray for Happiness...