The worst day of my life

I think about what day has been the worst day of my life??? As a teenager you may think it is being dumped by the most popular boy...as an adult you problems and troubles seem to get bigger..
I have had many bad days....One that would classify as up there at the top would be when the Dr told me we only had a 10% chance of ever conceiving (with procedures), but again as bad as that was it was not the worst day of my life...
I also had several bad days since then...we lost Dad Oct 2008 and we lost Mom Dec 2009 and as bad as they were again they were not the worst day of my life...
The worst day of my life was when I had to place Dad in a nursing home knowing it was for good...He looked so sad, Mom cried and I was also crying...I cried for about a week...
The day after I placed him in a nursing home I went back up there (to be sure he was OK)
He looked so sad..I also was sad..
I had taken the dogs with me and they were having a church service...I suppose the nursing home is the only place where you can attend church and take your dogs with you also..

As they sang all the familiar songs I began to cry, trying hard not to let Dad see me upset...after all he didn't like it when someone else felt bad...
All I could think of was when Dad used to lead the nursing home services, How he was a deacon, one who took up the offering and now here he was...Instead of ministering to residents who were sitting there with slobber on their faces all of a sudden here he was the one I loved who had the slobber all over face..(Parkinsons also causes drooling)

When I left I again broke down in tears...I was able to muster enough energy to go to work on Monday and my boss (the main boss a Lt for the OHP) asked me how my Dad was doing and I sarted crying and said "He is not good!!" Bad enough that you have to cry but in front of a Man!!
He said "Life just isn't fair sometimes is it??"

So how did I survive?? Well you get used to it I guess...You get used to the weekly visits, you begin to know the nursing staff, you begin to know the other residents and you begin to rely on God for peace and comfort...Life as I knew it with the parents has changed and will never be the same again...