Mothers Day again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JqfGqOx2iDQ&feature=PlayList&p=82CBA93FA3C6B879&p

Well here I am again talking about "Mothers Day" again...
So tell me which is worse...Not being a Mother on Mothers Day or not having a Mother on Mothers day???
I guess this year I am faced with a double whammy...I seem to not be a Mother nor do I have a Mother now...
Mothers Day now is just another day to me....
Lets start with the first....I am not a Mother...seems I am the Only one in the entire world that never had kids...
Well this Mothers Day God has let me meet all kinds of Women that do not have children...most by choice but here is my First blessing God has showed me this year I am not alone...
Second God has showed me through people my blessings...My supervisor just told me recently that they knew a picture perfect couple who were trying to have children to no avail so they are getting a divorce...Blessing #2 a Strong Marriage
and finally God has showed many that many others understand where we have been...I met a family recently who also has tried to adopt and had many obstacles but finally suceeded they understood my adoption stories unlike the many that thing adoption is an easy way to be a parent...Blessing #3 understanding friends
Now for my second...I miss having a Mom this year...My emotions are running wild...at times I feel like I could just sit down and cry...so I think back I often would ask...Why do I have to go through this with my parents??? Why do I have to be the caregiver??
Now I know the reason...so that when I miss the parents I just look back to the nursing home days...back to when Dad was calling 911 from the nursing home because he was cold, Mom was upset over junk mail and I was fighting the nursing home over a $16,000 Wheel chair therapy bill....
Yes times will be tough but many times we do not understand why until after the fact...God is giving me understanding...
I was talking to a co-worker recently who told me of a relative who lost people in her life and when her Mom passed she went crazy...Yes it could happen...I love both Mom and Dad but life will go on without them I have to realize I was able to enjoy them or yet I was blessed to have them for over 87 yrs...Not everyone has that priviliage...Blessing #3 God blessed me with being able to enjoy my parents in their Sr years..
So as Mothers Day approaches I am doing what I can to go on to be happy...I am busying myself with mailing cards to everyone I can think of (I even mailed myself a card that I thought Mom would have wanted me to have and I wrote a personal note in it) I sent flowers to my elderly aunt and we plan on enjoying the week-end camping...Oh yes I am a woman and I am sure to shed a tear or two but on the other hand it will not effect me to the point to where it will destroy my life...so God is good especially to me this Mothers Day!!