Where Ever He Leads I'll go

Whereever HE leads I will go....
I have sung this song many, many times...I am sure you also have sung this song also...but do you really mean it?? Do I really mean it???

I seem to have a problem that has magnified since the death of my Precious Mother...
a very dear friend of mine has told me I talk about it too much and it makes me negative but I am not so sure about that...
First off my problem is we were never blessed to have children. No one understands where I come from...Parents don't understand the feelings of being left out from conversations and discussions. We go to church (the family place to be) but we don't feel like a family because we are only two...we go to Sunday School where most of the discussions revolve around parenthood..It is often decided that because they are parents and grandparents they are special (where does that leave us??)
When Mom was alive I felt I had a purpose I was able to "Mother the Mother" and I was her care-giver...first my Dad and then my Mom I did this for about 10 yrs and I felt needed and now I don't feel needed..I feel lost.
I look through the church builetin and everything is for children, teenagers and elderly..couples our age are busy with their families so there are no activities for the Middle aged couple with no children..So we fill our time with going to the lake and making our own friends...
Look at your friends...most parents have friends who are parents of their childrens friends...they meet each other in school or school activities...we do not have that priviliage...
I hear parents talk about their activities...most are around their children...basketball games, football games, volleyball, music programs, plays, programs...
But we have none of these activities...we are not even close to our nieces or nephnews so that is not an option either...
At times I feel so sorry for my husband as I have made friends through my crafts...My cross-stitch, my crochet I have retreats to attend and once a week meetings and once a month dinners...
My husband has tried so hard. He got a hunting gun but the guy who was to go with him ended not going, he bought a bow and arrow set, but could not find a friend to go hunting, he now has a fishing boat and is looking for a friend to go fishing with and is talking about getting into golf as he hears of everyone going golfing...he is trying so hard to find a guy friend to hang out with..

For the past 32 yrs our Holidays have revolved around the parents..we spent every Holiday with them..having picnics, BBQ's, going to nursing home activities, assisted living activities, etc and now we just have ourselves...I am totally lost...I am trying to take it one Holiday at a time..I have given away most all my Christmas decorations..Why decorate for only two?? I don't want to do Thankgiving either Why cook a big Turkey for only two??? One Holiday at a time...summer holidays are not too bad as I can at least to go the lake and meet people there..

We are not close to our relatives or else distance seperates us so we don't see them except on facebook or by text...I long for relatives...

Now do I talk about this too much??? Lets see I go to meetings and parties and what do the women talk about?? Their children, how they had their children, the pain involved in childbirth and the trouble children have caused and they get advice from each other...I am totally left out of the conversation...so what do I have to talk about??
My surgeries, how much we wanted children how it never happened and the hurt in my heart and how it makes me feel left out of society...
Is there any other couples out there who are childless??? If so I don't meet them in church...
Will it ever get better???
I try NOT to get mad at God but does He really understand a childless woman?? On Mothers Day or a childless man on Fathers Day??
If you were in my shoes If you never had your children could you really say "Whereever He leads I will go???"