The Notes

My Mom had Dementia and Alzheimers...I think she actually had this disease long before it was diagnosed just could not do anything as long as she could still be in charge of her own meds...
Anyways After her passing I have been finding all kinds of Notes...Notes she wrote as reminders, notes on calendars...snowed today, rainy today, no one loves me, I am alone, Nita came over praise God for her etc She had problems with loneliness and depression (maybe some of that is hereditory as I am constantly fighting it) but I think God lets me find some notes just when I need to find them...
After she passed I found a beautiful note Thanking me for caring for her and promising me that God would send someone to help me when I got her age (yes I told her I was worried about that since we never had children)..
Just recently I had a bout of depression because of alot of life changing events...I went on a much needed girls week-end trip and they assured me it was normal and the first year was the hardest...we laughed and talked together...after we got home I found a note my Mom had written down a poem...I guess it helped her and now it was helping me...at the end of each stanze it said Keep Smiling...whether the toast burns..keep smiling...no matter what happens..keep smiling...
Then yesterday I found a note my Mom had wrote...It said "my twins were born in 1951 I was 48 years old" I laughed so hard when I found that...Mom was 32 when she had me and my sister and her deceased twin is 3 yrs older then me...so Mom would have been 29...I remember she often would try arguing with me telling me she was in her 50's when she had me...but again you cannot argue with an alzheimers person so I would just laugh and let it go...
I am saving all my notes that mean something to me so I can look back and be encouraged...I can look back and keep smiling and I can look back and have a big laugh...Thanks Mom for leaving a part of you with me and Thank God for letting me find them right when I need them..