Life out of Control

Sometimes I feel like my Life is out of control...
After Moms death and Dr found an abdominal aneurysm in my dear husband...
This was in late December...he was immediately put on "light duty" at work and at home
At first it was like he was ready to die at any minute however as he had to undergo many tests we began to relax...If it was being prolonged for so long and the Drs were not worried then we were not either however it does cause stress and tension waiting and waiting for them to decide whether or not to do the surgery and then the date of the surgery..

Unfortunately when you are dealing with surgeons it is not on your time table but theirs..depending on what they have going on and when they can do the surgery..
They did the surgery in Late February and we were on our way.....or so we thought...
We could finally get back to our lives and camping weather was coming up fast so we can
go the Summer with no problems....

After a Month he had to go back for a Kat Scan and while waiting on a full Drs release we find out once again he is scheduled for surgery...Seems the stint they place in him was leaking and not sealing properly so they again have to go in and fix it...
Surgery was scheduled for this past Wed and the unexpected happened...the Drs office called my husband the day before...something happened to the Surgeon...what they would not say but all surgeries are cancelled and now they are looking for a new surgeon...so here we are again sitting and waiting and wondering when it will be...

Part of my problem is I am an scheduler and a planner...I can tell you already when our camping trips are going to be..so we are dealing with the stress and tension of not knowing and wondering and a life in control of not us but of the Medical field...

I am having a hard time learning to take life one day at a time...Will it ever be Normal again??
No not since Mom passed...she was my shopping buddy and we went everywhere together so now I go alone...she was the one that I talked to...but now I feel alone...she was the one that had faith for me that added us to all the Prayer lists in town...she was the one that I went to when I was stressed...and now she is not even here for me...

I am having to learn to trust in God for my happiness, for my faith, for my assurance...God knows and everything is all in His control...not mine...that is a hard lesson to learn...